I Feel Some OCD Coming On...

THE LIST update

Task # 67: Keep room clean for 3 straight weeks

So...my room...I'll confess: for a period, the state of my room slipped a little. End of term and a mythology project sort of spread itself throughout my living quarters. Yesterday, I finished the mosaic and turned it in--closed that stage of my life. So I got home, turned to my room and dove in. You could still see the floor, but suddenly, that wasn't enough. There was clutter, and I didn't like it. I became a little...possessed? No--obsessed? Let's say focused. I worked diligently--yea. I cleared cluttered surfaces, organized the contents of--certain drawers, hung up clothes, and vacuumed (I do love that invention). As I was leaving my room, I saw that part of my desk was coated with grey specks. Dust. I hate that stuff. It just takes ownership of what isn't theirs. Rude.

So, you know what I did? I grabbed a sock I had found earlier that didn't have a match as I was organizing my--anyway, I grabbed the sock and wiped that grey away.

About two hours later (guesstimate. I actually lost track of time. I don't know when I started, but next thing I knew, it was 10pm) I stood back from my work and smiled triumphantly. I actually put my hands on my hips like a victorious superhero. It's weird, but I've realized, I have terrible focusing skills. But I become extremely focused when I clean my room. More than in almost any activity. I guess because it's my own room--I have control. Control...in psychology I learned that that's part of the drive behind those with OCD. Control, and guilt...I guess I need to assess myself and see if I'm guilty of anything.

Anyway, about focus: My family reads scriptures and prays every night, right? I'm great at that stuff...mostly. I pray a lot (because I need it), and I love to do it--on my own. Same thing with reading. But for some reason, when I get with my family, as soon as someone starts talking, I tilt my head, look at the ceiling, and think, "I should take AnnaJo to the movies. I want something sweet to eat. My feet are cold. Dogs." It's incredible. I never see it coming either. All I know, when I come to, is that I can't recall what was said seconds earlier and I don't know what the subject is...sometimes I don't know where I am for a moment.

So now I have two Random Tasks to accomplish:

Operation Foucs: pay attention to every single word at a family gathering.

Operation Power: this pertains to a specific individual in the family. I want to get closer to them before I leave the house. Maybe then I'll have more influencing power (as they would say on Sims 3). Not that that's what I'm going for! Love comes first...power second.

I am off to accomplish,

Dory